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Janel's Place

Sometimes sparks of genius just have to be typed.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Saturday, still in vet skool 

Massive multi-test week. Remember this as the week I spent at Julie's house. Also, macropods are kangaroos, not Big Foot, Dr. Ballwebber said "hotpockets," we chainsawed the top of a canine vertebral column off to see the spinal cord, we learned that fecal contamination is basically everywhere, and Kevin got his Ph.D. I will dedicate a blog to flatworms soon, for I am fascinated by them. I finished "Good, good pig" last night and almost cried when Christopher Hogwood died, fought with myself over where I will land in the world of meat-eating (primarily due to our poultry lecture which portrayed the assembly-line upsidedown trip to the stun-bath which caused me to think of Auschwitz despite the fact that I know this is carrying my anthropomorphizing tendencies to a new and unreasonable extreme)... and it is very near the time of day wherein I must study nutrition and kick into gear for a very challenging week of exams, quizzes, and this little matter of whether or not it would be humanly possible to finish my own Ph.D. by the 28th of March. I know it is inhumanly possible, but is it humanly possible?

Finally, a word about Jacob's livestock breeding strategy involving green poplar, hazel and chestnut rods. Dude. That is the word. Genesis 30. Why do I believe this Book? History like THAT is not concocted. It's just recorded. Similar to every other weird thing in this Book that I love for its amazing unbelievable truths that you have to be a fool to stand up for! Why does God so enjoy this process of making one seem a fool to believe in His Word? Noah? Abraham? Mary? Beats me, but there is a pattern. Pretty cool to see the forest through the trees though, when all is said and done. And perhaps we should try some things with green poplars.

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Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Ode to Ivanhoe, etc. 

Ode to Ivanhoe, sire of 130,000 calves. He was a disease carrier... can't remember what it was. Maybe the one with the missing integrin on white blood cells leading to recurrent infections and neutrophilia. That is the end of my ode.

So today's X-files experience came with only a 12.5 hour delay period. I read the Bible so stinking late at night these days I can hardly remember what I was reading the next day, but alas today's vet. Bible study chapter was Job 30, wherein Job was having a bit of a wilderness experience. Why me, oh my, God is gone, God is out to get me, God is silent... I can't blame him, personally, I sound like that and I don't have boils. But of course that is in accordance with the last X-files experience and Deut. 8:2 is quite appropriate to think about. THIS X-files experience is that I read the book of James last night and good ole J.D. brought it up this morning in reference to Job. I went to James for the promise about wisdom, but ended up reading the whole thing and thus I got my X-file. Once again, Janel flipping all over the Bible thinking (CRAP I JUST read something about this and I want to know where it is) and somebody about 10 feet away who doesn't inhabit my thoughts says, "turn to blah blah blah blah" and CRAP that's it. This, folks, is an X-file. It means God is getting out the big guns, has stuck you under the beam of the mothership, has suggested you pay attention because the voice is LOUD.

Nice. I can take home a take-home message and know that God is faithful despite what I expect to hear from Him within my timeframe. Being joyful amidst this business of mental tribulation is only possible with that underlying trust that He knows what He's doing and I can do so much to figure it all out and then obey and CHILL. So to speak. And yes, the point of James today: "the trying of your faith worketh patience." Okay then.

What I was actually obscessing about last night and have been stewing off and on about is this issue of temptation, in fact. There is something very deep about the fact that the devil gave Jesus Biblical license to do something stupid and trust God for some supernatural rescue in the name of high-powered faith, but Jesus' response was, "Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God." It says in James 1:13, "Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth He any man: but every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust. Then lust --> sin, sin --> death, blah blah blah." In teaching us how to pray Jesus said, "Lead us not into temptation." I think I may be confused by pronouns here, but that part of the Lord's prayer has always given me pause, so MAYbe with some legal terminology I can figure this out. Temptee = me. Temptor = self-issues leading to sin (i.e. pride, laziness, whatever else the devil and I cooperate to entertain. NOT God.) Nevertheless I must pray to God not to lead me into temptation. Now why the heck would He do that anyway? Seems mean. But I am blessed if I endure temptation... “day of temptation in the wilderness…” seems important for the Hebrews, Jesus… everyone… nope but you are definitely supposed to be praying that you don’t enter temptation, as the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak… and alas the classic:

1 Corinthians 10:13
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

And a pseudo-X-file experience as I was motivated to memorize this last semester… (but didn’t quite make it and forgot about it again until now)

I Peter 1:3-9

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.


So fine. I suppose that the status of my faith will be of immense importance when I find that time has run out and it’s actually time to meet Him. For my personal well-being, it may be that I am indeed suffered to navigate this world amidst a prescribed set of opportunities to conquer self through a careful recognition that it is not self who conquers. In prayer, Mitch’s “dance,” Janel’s “war,” I learn that prayer is actually a practice in humility where I ask for deliverance and He decides if that would be good or bad for me in the long run. Does He tempt? No. Does He allow temptation? Yes. Is God faithful in making a way of escape every single time? Even when I get in my own way and set myself up for lots and lots of temptation? Yes. Maybe God is the good Guy here. There is that whole soul salvation thing too. That's very nice. And even a crown of life? I don't know what that is, but I think it's good.

I love how I have to capitalize Guy. Awana thing.

Anyway, I really do need to get some work done before caucuses. I have to say I still don't know for sure what I'm thinking when I ask to be delivered from temptation. Similar to a thesis chapter, let us now store it and read it tomorrow and see if it still makes any sense.

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Monday, February 04, 2008

X-files 

...And exactly 13 days later the theme of Sunday service was the wilderness. Coincidence? Hmm. I wonder what's going on. I suppose I'm doomed to wonder as I won't believe anyone's idea as to what is going on. I am troubled by the fine line between confidence and arrogance. I want proof! Show me the money! Beans. It may be that faith doesn't work that way. Unless of course "fruit" is the code-name for proof. I swear, Christian vocabulary sometimes causeth me to laugheth. Meanwhile, I have to slog into this thesis chapter again, kicking and screaming. I do need to record 2 things for posterity, however. 1) "Once in a blue moon" refers to "Blue Moon," the only (or perhaps most famous) known mule born to a mule. She had a magical oocyte, it seems. 2) Last night when I dreamed about snakes the snakes were injured. They had some burn marks and missing heads. At one point one of the missing-headed snakes had a little head that came out and said it was a bot, but I think that was beside the point. The point is that the snakes were injured. I choose to consider that a positive development.

The End. Or the beginning of the torture. "Keep your word to your own hurt" takes on such a long-term meaning when it is applied to acquiring a Ph.D.

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Eowyn

Eowyn

If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Eowyn, Woman of Rohan, niece of King Theoden and sister of Eomer.

In the movie, I am played by Miranda Otto.

Who would you be?
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