Janel's Place

It's a beautiful day outside. I'm in the lab. I'll feel much better when I figure out exactly how many fly lines I need and how I'm going to make them. I need to see a pathway out of here... this thick jungle of experiments and ideas. I fear I'm going away from the light instead of toward it sometimes. I wish I could get even a glimpse of what is beyond the light. I guess a lot of people find happiness in what they are doing, who they are with, where they are headed.... I would say that these things are satisfying to some level, but I seem to have been born with this need to know why I'm doing what I'm doing. How does today fit into the grand scheme of my life? I put my head down and keep walking for a while, then months, years later I pop it up and I still don't know where I'm going. It's scary to think that it could be the same story ten years from now. What if the right path is two steps to the side and I lack the courage to jump over onto it?

Well it's Saturday. I have ten minutes to stop and think for a while and as usual it doesn't help.

1500 years ago, Ezra left Babylon with a host of Israelites to help rebuild Jerusalem. Chapter 8 finds him camped by the river flowing to Ahava, deviod of the king's soldiers and protection as he had claimed that God alone would protect them.

Ezra: "Then I proclaimed a fast there at the river of Ahava, that we might humble ourselves before our God, to seek from Him the right way for us and our little ones and all our possessions."

They fasted and entreated God, and He answered their prayer.

In Proverbs 30, Agur asked two things of God:

"Two things I request of You (deprive me not before I die): remove falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches— feed me with the food allotted to me; lest I be full and deny You, and say, “Who is the LORD?” Or lest I be poor and steal, and profane the name of my God."

Sooooo God seems a little inaccessible sometimes. A little farther away than I wish He was, His plans for the here and now a little more obscure than I find comfortable. But what about His promises?

John 14:

“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

I think I'm pretty satisfied with His promises. He hasn't given me enough knowledge of the here and now to satisfy me, therefore I have to seek Him.

Acts 17:

And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.

He wants people to seek Him, and when they do He answers their prayers. Why I look for answers hidden within circumstances I don't know. Laziness I guess. God looks upon Janel and slaps His forehead. That's in the Bible somewhere.