Janel's Place

I have a kitten on my lap. He is staring fixedly at my hand and every time I push the backspace he watches my hand move. I saw a big rainbow last night and got a gentle reminder that God has things under control. I have these phases of staring at four fingers of problems, knowing that I need to look past them and get God in focus, but before I actually see Him I have this horrendous time period of seeing EIGHT FINGERS! But of course, that only makes sense if you've seen Patch Adams. It's so easy to trust God when I have a kitten on my lap. Perhaps I should get one of those little belt-purses and just keep him there.
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California tax-payers are now paying for embryonic stem cell research. Yay American church, way to be involved. I know, I know, don't be angry, God will judge them. Wait a minute... judge who? Judge those who have no sense of morality or judge those who do but sit around with their thumbs in their ears? I often have my thumbs firmly lodged in my own ears as well, admitted.
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The point of this spewing is not going to come for a few paragraphs.

I have been trying to get good recordings for 2.5 hours now, 4 larvae, each increasingly carefully dissected as I grappled for reasons why they weren't surviving. The first larvae of the day went like clockwork! I couldn't kill him. So much nice data. So I filled the buffer reservoirs and prepared for a massive time of data gathering with two vials of larvae, perfectly sized. But nope, I'm giving up for today because it is just not working. All new electrodes, better and better dissections, as I said, I couldn't get it to work and I don't know why. There is a reason, but I don't know what it is. I'll be putting the entire set-up back together again tomorrow to do all of the same techniques to see if the unknown problem has gone. If not, I go deeper into wondering if it really is just the genotype, or static build-up, or loss of ion coating on the wires, or electrodes sitting for too long... the list will go on and on and eventually it will work again.

The problem of suffering fits into my brain, if not my paragraph, in a way with so many similarities that I'm thanking God again for sending me to graduate school. There is some connection between faith, the Holy Spirit, God, individuals, the powers that be, even odd practices such as the laying on of hands and the power of obediance that works together into this fascinating result of "faith healing." Tapping the supernatural with a combination of things I do understand and things that I don't. I've seen it happen, I've heard that it happens, I read of it happening, but to guarantee that it will happen every time is something that I cannot do. What part of the combination is not working? Can we know?

In this problem I have learned from my mortal enemy, the rig. There are things that I can control. New buffers, coated wired, careful dissections, new electrodes... I do every thing possible to make it work out right. Sometimes I learn about a new problem I didn't have on my radar screen -- depth of buffer, angle of electrode, gentleness of washing. These are new things to work at and test the impact of when things continue to fail, but do any of those things change my knowledge that I must have good buffers, coated electrodes and careful dissections? Never.

God said that the prayer of faith will heal the sick. He said that by His stripes we are healed. He is unchanging, and He does not break His Word. Am I going to give up that truth when someone I prayed for to live dies? No. I test the levels of my own fears and doubts, I look for sin and fight it out, I take a rest and try again tomorrow, I close the Bible and open it again tomorrow, I pray for help and I look for it, but never do I question a written truth from God. That is not the problem. There may not be a human on this earth who can explain to me why that person died. God may not ever tell me why. But does the prayer of faith still heal the sick? Yes. Circumstances will not pull me off of this rock. God's will is that all men be saved and healed. On the cross those things were provided for for every man.

The problem remains that many will go to hell. Many will die in car wrecks, many will die in wars, diseases will consume their bodies and I will long for a better world. Will I, my family or my friends go to hell? Will they die in car wrecks? Will they die in war or from disease? Not if I can help it. These are the realms where I will do everything I know of to ensure salvation and protection. If things fail I adjust things that are uncertain. God's will is not one of those things. If God's will is unknown in a situation than I guess we better be wise and understand what His will is. If we know His will and would prefer things to be different, we are allowed to ask with the humility of Jesus, ending with "not My will but Thine be done," but to be clueless about God's will and just ask Him to do it has the blush of laziness. I am being unfair and unrecognizing of the great complexity of God's heart? I don't think so. Not for salvation and healing. Jesus was here for quite some time making certain that people would not be confused about those things. The disciples didn't invent a lot of complex doctrines about why God does not heal some people and why people go to hell. They preached the gospel and healed the sick. Did they suffer a lot? Oh yes. As Jesus did, preaching truth and being hated for it in this fallen world. Did they die of freak camel crashes, snake bites and cancers?

Well it's late. I don't know why a 28-yr-old woman in Congo was burying her 6-yr-old daughter in the forest while I was joking around in the laboratory making buffers. I in no way have command of all the facts about her situation. I don't know. But don't tell me that God willed for her to starve. Don't tell me that He was glorified in her agony. Come up with a better idea than that if you have to explain it.
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"Help! I'm a prisoner! I can't get out!"

"Weez allll prisoners, chickie-baby. Weez allllll locked in."

Fundamental truth from Herbie the Love Bug.
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