Janel's Place

It is late at night and I cannot sleep. I am completely bug-eyed. I wrote a song and now I am starving. A fairy left a triple box of peeps on my desk yesterday so I just ate three of them. Not three boxes. Three peeps. I feel pretty bad when I bite off their heads. Maybe a sugar rush is not the best way to get sleepy, but it's that or the rat food. Or I suppose I could eat my frogs. I can't believe I just thought that.

I finished reading Hosea, and I don't get it all. I get the major idea, but I don't understand why God laid it out that way. Why does He like to portray major events in human actions and relationships? He does that rather consistently. Poor Ezekiel. I guess before talking to Ling I hadn't realized what an honor it would be to be chosen by God to live out a prophesy that people would read about for 1500 years to come, but understanding people's reactions to these requests does not help me understand why God chooses to do things that way. It's a big part of God's nature and I'd like to advance a level and know why He does stuff that way.

Actually, I just described Jesus' time on this earth as well. Whatever truly happened in Eden was something in the spiritual realm that I barely understand and lamely (new 1 a.m. word) explain. Odd physical realm rituals were instated and eventually God entered our realm and walked to death on the cross in plain sight of everyone and "fixed" the issue for us, then zipped back into the spiritual realm where things were really and truly fixed, leaving us the physical realm reality to remember and wrap our minds around. It was a play. It was God's plan and purpose enacted through people, but what really happened was in the part of the story we brush over. Jesus died. That's how you get to that realm. It is still the greatest mystery of all as people don't take notes and publish papers about what they find there.

An eternal soul. Gain entry to the world through birth. Exit in death. Limited thoroughout by memories only spanning from entry to exit. Who let you in? Duh, your parents. But the Bible says differently, it says He thought of me before I was even incubating.

Would He let people in who will never call upon Him all the days of their lives, or is that so impossible for me to fathom that I fall back on my parents being in ultimate control and God being pleasantly surprised by my arrival and I end up believing in Him because… well just because?

God let Adam in, I buy that because it’s the only option, but Adam proceeded to orchestrate the fall of all mankind. It appears God can handle rejection.

God caused Jesus to materialize in presumably a genetically humanoid form. Another leap of faith, but honestly there is no way any “normal” human would have a right to “die” for me. Two more buzz words that remind me that the spiritual realm is the real issue here. There was something unique about Him. I feel a digression coming on. [...but as C.S. Lewis said, is it so impossible and unusual and supernatural for God to set up this “virgin” birth when every single birth is darn miraculous? Scientists might try and trick you into thinking it’s not because we can “create life” in a tube, but are we taking a little too much credit here?]

But anyway, God utilized the time and place and Mary and Joseph as His stage setting, for reasons we don’t 100% get, and once again the world watches as God moves thorough people to get stuff said that has to be said. To get stuff done that has be done.

I wonder if any of this will make sense tomorrow. But despite my idea that I would be dying in an hour I am actually more awake than I was when I started therefore I will work on my chapter. Insanity cannot be fought, only endured and put to good use if possible. That was a really cool quote that I made up because I must be an undiscovered genious. Unfortunately I cannot spell genious. Actually that reminds me of why I’m not a genious. It was squelched out of me when I was taught to color inside the lines.

I almost forgot. I have been offered llamas. What do I do? Voice of Janel vs. Voice of Reason. Darn Reason.